My daughter became involved in the transgender scene, a community that offered her both support and challenges. This community can be a place where people who do not feel at home in their birth gender find understanding and acceptance. It can be a source of strength, but also a space filled with complexity, especially when other struggles are already present. The transgender friend my daughter spent time with was in the middle of a heavy journey involving depression, identity struggles, and self-medication with drugs. Environments like this can have an intense impact on the mental health of everyone involved. For my daughter, who was already struggling with her mental well-being after a difficult divorce, this combination felt, in my view, particularly risky.

The transgender scene can sometimes function as an escape from reality, but it can also become an environment where problematic behaviors are reinforced. In my daughter’s case, it seemed to lead to a further decline in her situation. She became more isolated from the people who could support her and became increasingly entangled in a world that, from where I stood, did her more harm than good. The transition of her friend—from female to male—brought its own set of challenges. It was difficult to watch someone you care about struggle with identity and the pressure that comes with it. The constant changes in pronouns and witnessing that inner battle for self-acceptance made it even harder to know how to offer support. Although I fully respect that everyone must walk their own path and discover who they are, it was painful to see how the choices of others seemed to negatively affect my daughter.

She became caught in a world of drugs and depression, and I found myself standing on the sidelines, powerless, unable to change the situation or reach her in the way I longed to. All of this led to my greatest fear as a mother: that because of the break in contact, my daughter is missing an important source of feminine guidance and support. She now lives with Wordfather, her brother, and her transgender friend, and the absence of my presence in that home continues to weigh heavily on me. It left me with a question that often echoes through me as the “worst mother”: am I being transphobic, or am I simply a concerned mother?

My daughter now identifies as non-binary and is exploring her gender identity in ways that are sometimes difficult for me to fully understand. As a parent, I worry about the influence of her environment and social media on the choices she makes. There are stories of people who later regret their transition, feeling they were influenced by their surroundings or by what they saw online. This phenomenon is real, and it concerns me that some young people compare themselves to others on social media, which can lead them to decisions that may not truly fit who they are. It is not uncommon for individuals who transition to later realize it was not the right path for them. A well-known example is Keira Bell, who underwent hormone treatment at a young age but later expressed regret and took legal action against the clinic that treated her.

These stories feed my fear, because as a parent I feel a deep responsibility to ensure that my daughter makes choices that are truly right for her—especially when it comes to something as profound as gender identity and medical transition. I often question whether the guidance she receives is sufficient, and whether she fully understands the long-term consequences of her decisions. It is important for me to reflect on my own feelings and possible biases. Am I truly afraid of what it means to be non-binary or transgender, or am I afraid of the impact these choices may have on my daughter’s life? This self-reflection helps me understand where my fears come from and how to navigate them more consciously.

My intention is to support and guide my daughter, no matter which path she chooses. This means I must face my own fears and assumptions, and learn to distinguish them from genuine concerns for her well-being. The world we live in calls for understanding and openness. It is essential that we acknowledge the role of social media and the influence it has on transgender and non-binary youth. With the right support and guidance, parents can play a meaningful and positive role in their children’s search for identity.

☕️ A cup of comfort

Dear parent, maybe you feel it burning right now — the doubt, the fear, the silence inside your own heart while your child searches for words to describe who they are and you search for how to remain steady.
It is not an easy place to sit.
The world is changing faster than you can keep up,
and you love your child deeply while at the same time grieving who you thought they would become.
Your worries are not rejection.
They are the echo of love trying to find something to hold on to.
So take this cup of comfort.
Not as an answer.
Not as a judgment.
But as a place to rest.
You are allowed to worry.
You are allowed to reflect.
And you are allowed to ask for space to better understand your child.
Stay gentle.
Stay open.
And know this: your love does not need to be perfect to still be a safe place. ❤️